There are two things in life that I want to have but seem bleak as of now. One is a super fit body (notice that I used fit, not hot!) and an MA degree. The first one seems more palpable, since it requires less financial obligations and health hazards, while the other one is simply unattainable for now.
My boss have asked me the question countless of times. "When are you going to take your MA?". It's not even a question of whether I will or will not. She just conveniently assumed that I will. And I do want to. But...it's not exactly simple. There are many (excuses) reasons as to why I can't get that MA degree. I know the pay off is good for me, but I think that the cons outweigh the pros. Or am I just overly rationalizing this?
1. I don't have enough money for an MA education
While there may be many ways to work around this, such as student loans, scholarships, financial aids, or simple going to a more affordable university I think that I am a.) not qualified to get a student loan b.) not smart and hardworking enough to get and maintain a scholarship and c.) I'm too stubborn to go to a school that I'm not confident in. Many people have told me to just try out one of those three solutions, but I guess I have more buts, rather than guts.
2. I don't know what degree to take
Geminis are known to be fickle-minded. I am a living testimony to that belief. I have too many options, and I'm too lazy to narrow them down. Choosing one among my options feels like Meryl Streep in Sophie's Choice, though I still don't have children, I could just imagine how hard it can be.
3. I don't think I have the time and energy
A full-time job leaves not a lot of time for self-pampering and relaxation. Sure, there's the weekend to attend classes, but that's another major sacrifice. I hate the idea of waking up early for six days straight, then having to drag myself and face Metro Manila traffic, then sit on my butt for half a day. There's a gazillion of other fun things I could have done with that time. I could have slept for ten hours, have my nails done, eat a nice home-cooked meal, watch TV, surf the net, take a nap even if I just woke up, go out and watch a movie with Macmac, my boyfriend...and the list can go on and on and on...
And I have to teach and study? Teacher by day, student by night. I don't think I'm born for that kind of double life. For those who can, I salute you. But for those who can't (like me), I UNDERSTAND.
I once considered trying UP Open University and earn an MA degree in the comforts of my home and schedule. But I know there's a catch. It's either I won't learn anything, or there's too many work to be done. There are really no more shortcuts in this world.
4. Monetary advancement is not that big
I work in a school. Schools are poor and teachers are more poor. Getting an MA won't necessarily make me a millionaire.
If there's a will there's a way. Kung ayaw may dahilan, kung gusto palaging merong paraan. I know someday, I would have to take up my MA. The ideal scenario really is to start now while I'm young and much more able to face the demands of graduate studies. But I simply don't want to take up MA just for the sake of it. Maybe someday, somehow, a beam of inspiration, dedication, and a pot of gold will get me there. But for now, I'm happy with what I have.
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